Volante napisał(a):
A poza tym chyba lepszy jest opis "rozprawia się", niż "Bandzior podbiega do Batmana. Ten przyjmuję bojową postawę. Bandzior go atakuje... itp.". ".
niewątpliwie. ale nikt też nie każe Ci pisać tak beznadziejnych opisów
Volante napisał(a):
Robi się przez to "sztuczny tłok". Przybywają puste sekundy i minuty w scenariuszu. ".
interesująca racjonalizacja. Pozwoliłem sobie, z pobudek edukacyjnych, wkleić przykładowe opisy innych - błądzących - scenarzystów Batmana (język angielski, ale to chyba nie problem?). Tak powstał chyba najdłuższy post tego forum:), ale wydaje mi się, że bardzo pouczający dla piszących:
1) 'Batman Begins' Goyera:
He rounds a corner to find FIVE THUGS, various weapons in hand,
in a loose defensive ring, peering out into the darkness...
A SHADOW DROPS into the center of their ring-
Thugs TURN, SHOUTING, one SWINGS a CHAIN, another a KNIFE-
- Batman DUCKS the chain -- SWEEP-KICKS the knife-wielder to
the ground. Chain SWINGS again...
Batman JUMPS up, one leg LOW to let the CHAIN WRAP around
his ANKLE- Batman KICKS his leg sideways RIPPING the chain
from its owner, then HEAD BUTTING him down -
Batman SPINS his CHAIN-WRAPPED LEG in a ROUNDHOUSE KICK,
WHIPPING THREE THUGS behind him in the fade with the CHAIN.
All three go DOWN. The rest are unconscious or gone.
Batman STANDS there, long cape BILLOWING out to one side.
The chain SLIDES from his leg. Falcone is behind him,
SHOTGUN aimed dead at Batman’s head.
FALCONE
What in God’s name are you?
2) Batman, Sam Hamm:
... and NICK sees THE HUMAN BAT, BACK ON ITS FEET, NIGHT-
MARISH, UNDEAD, MOVING SLOWLY AND INEVITABLY CLOSER.
Panic. Stolen money flutters out of Nick's hands. He
SCUTTLES FRANTICALLY across the roof. The BLACK SPECTRE
is blocking his path to the fire escape. Trapped like a
rat, Nick FIRES WILDLY.
Eddie's face is pale. The BAT treads calmly past. A LEG
snakes out. A BLACK BOOT catches Eddie high on the chest
-- LIFTS HIM CLEANLY OFF HIS FEET -- AND SENDS HIM FLYING
THROUGH THE AIR. Eddie slams into a brick chimney and
slumps unconscious.
THE BAT DOESN'T EVEN BREAK HIS STRIDE. Nick CHARGES past
the black wraith, toward the fire escape...
A GLOVED HAND slices through the air, and Nick pitches
forward, his legs ensnared in a tangle of WIRES. SCREAM-
ING, he drags himself across the gravel roof, the BAT at
his heels... 'til there's no place left to go. Nick
cowers on the edge.
Nick keeps SHOOTING. Eyes closed. Hammer falls on an
empty chamber, but Nick still pulls the trigger. He
MOANS.
BAT grabs Nick by the shirt, HOISTS HIM into the air.
NICK
Don't kill me... don't kill me...
Nick opens his eyes... the BAT is standing on the ledge
of the roof -- HOLDING HIM OUT, at arm's length, over six
stories of nothingness. A rasping VOICE.
BATMAN
You're trespassing, Ratbreath.
Nick looks down. Far, far below, CARS wink silently past.
He looks up. And sees, in the mirrored lenses where
Batman's eyes should be, the twin reflections of his own
stricken face.
NICK
Trespassing? You don't own the
night.
BATMAN
Tell your friends. Tell all your
friends. I AM the night.
3) Batman returns, genialny Daniel Waters:):
Catwoman launches a brutal kick in Batman's face. Batman
vibrates back a few steps, then comes forward and slams
Catwoman into a whimpering ball. She looks up, shocked.
CATWOMAN
How could you? I'm a woman...
BATMAN
(suddenly taken
aback)
I'm -- sorry, I --
Catwoman spins, pounding Batman off the ledge. Then
lashes out her whip, coiling it around Batman's flapping
arm. With both hands, she jerks him up. Lashes her end
of the whip to a weather vane.
CATWOMAN
As I was saying: I'm a woman, and
can't be taken for granted. Are
you listening, you Batman you?
BATMAN
(grimaces)
Hanging on every word.
CATWOMAN
Good joke. Wanna hear another one?
Batman nods: Lay it on me.
CATWOMAN
The world tells boys to conquer the
world, and girls to wear clean
panties. A man dressed as a bat
is a he-man, but a woman dressed
as a cat is a she-devil. I'm just
living down to my expectations.
Life's a bitch -- now so am I.